Because of the magical magic of timezones, it is very late and I am finding myself quite busy moping around in a hostel in London over the knight I left behind in The Royal Armouries. To be quite frank, he was perfect in every single way, in that he was great with children, he was trained in outdoor theater and he's knowledgeable about all those sexy knight things (and sexy buffalo hunting and sexy samurai things [he has a very wide repertoire]) and he makes fun of medieval archers who would be totally deformed-la-la-la. Also he can swordfight in like 3 different styles. How cool is that? It's right savage, that's what it is.

More importantly, though, on a personal, less perfectly objective level, is the fact that he was Just What The Doctor Ordered.

What does this mean? Well, it means that I'd been having an annoying week full of sexydreams about people I should not be having sexydreams about (and I don't mean my cousins, this time), and I discovered one of life's harsh lessons a day or two before seeing him: you should not base 5 days of vacation solely on the reception of a sonnet you wrote (no matter how good you think it might be.) Yes, the sexydreams part sucked.

Alas, those times are over, now, and I'm into a mopey stage, and I'll probably start having inappropriate dreams about people I shouldn't have inappropriate dreams about, again, because the fact is that Mr. Knight Man only managed to imprint himself onto me during those 2 days. And, although those were 2 fantastic days, the looming thought of how transient our magical one-sided relationship was, was always something that fluttered around unpleasantly moth-like.

(But, it's not supposed to work that way. Once someone's moored themselves in your heart you can't just let them go unless you really mean it.) (Ha! Who am I kidding?)

1. More than anything, I realize that the reciprocation of affection is a slow, plodding process. But, the question begs, how short is too short of a time? Does such a threshold exist? (Let's do a persuasion check, roll the d20 and then add your CHA modifier.) I see people leaving, anticipating leaving in about 6 months and I wonder to myself whether or not the ties will hold us, if we just wish hard enough.

2. And even if it does work out, is it ever worth it? In a few days/week/month/years, it'll be over, and the emotional digestion we undergo will leave us yearning and bereft, again.

3. The hunger for affection is something that's natural, and, at times, too much to handle. We suffer from a selective memory, remembering how, specifically the body reacts, while conveniently forgetting how great it once was.

I question the reason we quench our desire at all, if all it makes us is jaded, and temporarily complacent.

Anyway, here's Queen of Hearts by Guardian (PG, Final Fantasy 6). I like it a lot. It made me happy. I won't spoil it. It's relevant. I hope you all have lovely Pride weekends doing whatever makes you happy.