I went to London Pride today and it was nothing short of spectacular, but then again, everything seems spectacular in contrast to sitting in bed all day wailing about how those assholes in the hostel gave you swine flu. I spent the first 1/3 of it looking for the event, not realizing the event hadn't started yet, the 2nd 1/3 of it rubbing up against strangers, and the final 1/3 trying not to step in vomit.

Here is a picture of half of a displayed liquor selection in SoHo.


And here is a picture of my favorite tranny (hey, don't bitch at me, that's what their float said).


After running around like a stupid I hid in a "cloakroom" (which = toilet) in a hotel from around 9:30 to 11:00. Then I went outside to figure out where the fuck everything was, because I remembered vaguely reading somewhere that the thing was supposed to start at 11:00. I'd even woken up at like 7:00 just to get onto the train station early so it wouldn't be congested because clearly everyone would be out supporting the gays. I also forgot where it was taking place, so after nothing happened for a while, I ended up following the barred streets upwards towards the source of all the floats. I got there and sat around for 2 hours wondering why it wasn't going, when, really, it was supposed to start at 1. Then it went. There weren't many nakeds, which was okay, I guess. This was my favorite person in the parade.


Then I got bored with the start/stop and the sound of my clapping so I wandered away looking for a cheap Belgian waffle but instead ate Thai food. It was pretty good, even though it probably cost me like 12 dollars because British pounds are stupid.

Then I was going to go to the main stage in Trafalgar Square, but I didn't because I decided to go to SoHo instead because it was closer and there were plenty of strangers for me to rub up against there. I ended up on Old Compton street where you couldn't swing a dildo without hitting at least 24 pert buttcheeks. It was pretty hot. I didn't particularly know what to do so I started waiting in line for something, which ended up being a line to get into the park where I saw a man sucking another younger man sucking an older man's nipples (I didn't get that on camera). Then I flailed wildly while a DJ played music and some man touched my shoulder and said "Looking good" as he passed by. Then I realized that he probably just said that instead of "excuse me" and it was less exciting. I spent more time flailing in the streets like a maniac and before I knew it, it was like 7 PM and I hadn't spent any money on booze yet. (hint for anyone that ever wants to take advantage of me: it's not very hard)

I wanted to go to this club but there was no way in hell I was going to make the dress code, and I knew the appeal of my lovely sexylovely charm would have been marginal, at best. So I lurked around outside and ate a crappy dinner instead and then realized that I have a flight to catch tomorrow. Crap. Oh, but these drunken bachelorettes in a limo drove by and sang James Blunt at me. That was pretty rad.