I have to admit that my posts on Wiqaable have been mostly critical and deconstructive. This isn't to say that being critical is a bad thing--rather, I feel that I haven't really shown the other sides of my personality. Being far too critical makes me seem untouchable by those who frequently read and visit this site. as
I'm not quite sure why I chose to write about love. It's quite a heavy subject. The critical side of me wants to tear apart the concept, analyze what love means in a societal context, and then show why our current notions of love are so off-kilter. Considering how much the odds are stacked against queer people of color, love just seems so impossible. Yet, despite all obstacles, our community speaks so highly on something so abstract.
However, for once, I'd like to take off my analytical thinking cap. My formal (and informal education) has done little to educate me about the notions of love. I've been taught that love is a powerful force that can both bind and bring people together. Amongst all of the emotions, love is highly sought after and considered a rarity. And I have been taught that despite the joy it brings, love can be fleeting and leave you without a moment's notice.
Someone once told me that love is our most powerful form of activism. Without it, how can we ever hope to build community? For some reason, it only feels right to agree with such a statement. Yet, I'm still trying to fully comprehend such a statement. In my life, love has helped me recognize both the positive and negative influences in my life.
Love drove me to come out to my parents and explain what it means to be queer.
Love asked me to become involved on my campus.
Love helped me to see how improving myself is a constant process.
And last, but not least, love has helped me reconnect with long lost friends and allies.
Where does love come into my life as a student? An activist? A brother? A son? A queer man of color? Even though I have experienced love, I have yet to really understand it. In all honesty, the answers to such questions are only a tad recognizable, as if blurred or slightly smudged.
So, I pose this question to all of you. What do you think of love? How has it impacted your life? Why do you choose to find or perhaps run from love? What is love to you?
I'd love to hear your answers. I think it's time I got to know my readers better!
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2 comments for this post
It's funny that you ask...for the past few days, I myself have been contemplating (unsuccessfully that is) a definition, a meaning for love. And moreso how it compares to friendship (another form of love?). Love is such an abstract construction that at times it is hard to verbalize its intricacies. What is love really? How do you know when you feel it? Is it that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you're around that special someone? And what about when you've lost it? How can such an abstract feeling bring such physical affliction?
Love encompasses so many bonds not just those between "lovers"...so that makes it that much harder to define. The best things in life, for me at least, has that indescribable impact. For some time, I had this quote on my facebook "If friendship is a sufficient condition, then love is a necessary one." (Don't know where I picked that up from, maybe you have an idea?) A friend commented stating "love is a fool's game". I want to believe that wasn't true, but why else put yourself through it? But asking made me realize, if we choose to go down this path to find love knowing full well the messiness that it entails, it must be worth it, right?
What bothers me the most is why love can't last forever? (Or does it?) Is it just always there - only dormant at times? Love is suppose to be this strong force but it isn't unbreakable. Is love a fabrication that only exists to describe a strong bond shared between two people? We can throw our "I love you"s whenever, but how can we diffferentiate the ones that really matter?
I think I posed more questions than answers. =)
I do know that,
Love brought an appreciation for my identity. Although not strong enough for me to come out to my family...yet;
Love brought new understanding of differences;
Love can be both necessary and unnecessary.
Love is an experience. Conditions included.
Love is seeing the beauty and being shocked by it into needing to co operate to keep on seeing the beauty, something beyond understanding, you trust it. It justifies itself, it is above explanation. It overcomes differences, it is brave and will let down its guard and be hurt, but that makes it stronger than dug in defences. Love is as common as our need and our risking and the fact that we are really quite beautiful!