August 8, 2008 4pm Beijing Time



I am able to convince a group of Olympic Volunteers to get me past three security checkpoints, far enough to where I needed to be in order to meet up with the rest of the action team.

Finally after a frantic run I am able to find Cesar and Jonathan somewhere on Beituching road a good mile away from the stadium. I can't tell you what a relief it was to see them. Honestly, I was surprised that none of us got taken away by PSB agents in the middle of the night. Cesar is wearing a baseball cap, underneath it he looks like the living dead. His condition must have gotten worse from the pollution. I remember him being extremely sick and almost too ill to walk earlier in the week. I don't know what kind of inner strength it took for him to be able to endure the extreme heat and humidity, on top of that having to organize our action in Beijing. If that isn't hardcore I don't know what is.

We casually walk in the direction of the stadium, trying to look as touristy as possible. We flag down a cab and try to communicate what the next steps of the plan are. We realize that its going to be damned near impossible to get to the stadium, so Cesar contacts our support folks (photographers/videographers) to meet us at Beichen and Beituching road. We jump out of the cab and head to the closest subway station that would take us right to the intersection of Beichen and Beituching road and place us a kilometer from where the Bird's Nest would be.


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After braving the crowds in the subway we emerge to see that we are quickly losing daylight and would miss out on our opportunity to use the Bird's Nest stadium as a backdrop for our action. We start to walk around and realize that there are LEGIONS of Chinese security, military and plain clothes police every-fuckin-where.


I look over at Cesar and Jonathan to see that they are both facing in the same direction. I spot "Angel" and "NoNeck" two VERY welcome sights and two bad ass citizen journalists who have been embedded in Beijing for a good two weeks prior. We all exchange glances and Cesar nods. This is where the protest is going to happen. All three of us casually walk over to see if there are any gaps in the security grid.

I feel the adrenaline start to flood my system. My heartbeat is pounding in my ears. Years of training and preparation begin to take over my whole nervous system. I've waited almost ten years for this moment. One chance to demonstrate what solidarity is supposed to look like.

As a Queer Decolonized Pilipin@ I d0 not believe in trying to help or "save" the Tibetan people. They do not need that condescending, superior and smug bullshit attitude. What they do need is true solidarity and support. They need our voice to amplify theirs, they need our access to resources to assist them in their freedom struggle, they need us to fight alongside them, not for them. This action was done not out of compassion or pity. It was done out of admiration and humbled awe in their undying resolve to fight for their own country. They are like many Indigenous Peoples all over the globe fighting for self-sovereignty. Although their struggle is different the cause of the turmoil is the same, foreign occupation and colonization. I vowed to my ancestral deities that I would never stand by in slack jawed apathy and watch injustice unfold around me. The Tibetan people may not be my own, but in my bones I recognize their struggle.



August 8, 2008 7pm Beijing Time


All three of us are supposed to take off our outer shirts exposing our "Team Tibet" shirts underneath then take our positions with our backs to the stadium, hold the Tibetan flag in a raised clenched fist, and I was supposed to sing the Tibetan National Anthem. That's what was supposed to happen. Uh. funny how life doesn't really happen the way you plan it to.

As soon as Cesar is able to establish line of sight with our support team he yells "GO GO GO" Each of us run like hell into the intersection taking off our outer shirts. Running into the intersection full of soldiers and cops. My vision...or was it my brain..just blurs.



We desperately try to get into position to pull out our Tibetan flags, strategically hidden somewhere on our being.



I'm able to take my flag out and I decide to forgo with trying to sing the Tibetan National Anthem and just start yelling "XIZANG ZIYOU!" (FREE TIBET!) Cesar gets mobbed by security agents and Jonathan is on the periphery trying his damnedest to elude security.




I continue to chant and wave the outlawed Tibetan flag and then I feel something slam into me from behind.



I feel someone throttle the back of my neck...



and then I feel my foot explode in pain. The weight and speed of the soldier tackling me crushed my foot into a 180 degree angle.



I'm flying down towards the pavement. My mind just goes numb.




I taste asphalt and feel a hand holding my face down into the concrete while weirdly/painfully twisting my left ear. I try to look up to see if the guys are still standing and alright. I can't see anything past the specks of white floating in front of my eyes.


Despite the fact that Cesar got clobbered to the ground I hear him yell "FREE TIBET!" and it breaks me out of my haze. I respond in kind by screaming Free Tibet in English, Tibetan and Mandarin. I am waiting to feel a baton crush my skull, or a taser burn into my back. I don't feel either. I get slapped in the mouth by a soldier with a heavy gloved hand telling me to "shut up!" I would have spit into his face if I had the ability to move my head. But that would have needlessly escalated an already BEYOND tense situation.

I pairs of hands grab my ankles and my wrists. We are lifted off the ground and are hastily carried spread eagle somewhere. I hear Cesar and Jonathan continue to chant and I see them being carried alongside me and I see a soldiers fist violently and repeatedly collide with Cesar's face.



I remember thinking, "We're not going to die here. Fuck that. We're not going to die here..."


Next:

The conclusion to "Fear and Loathing in Beijing: Ready to Die"

*note: Some photos in this post were taken by Students for a Free Tibet. A global Tibet support organization that uses grassroots organizing and non-violent direct action to shine a spotlight on the injustices happening inside Tibet. Other photos in this post were taken by Noel Hidalgo, citizen journalist, blogger, activist and tech ninja, he was embedded in Beijing to document the actions during the 2008 Olympics. Thank you Noel for letting me borrow your images. Check out his blog here