Eyes locked and chained to one another.

You let my hands shape your every curve and scratch every inch.
My mouth wandering over the rivers that are your hips.
Rapid breaths and deep throated moans begging to leave your lips.

Yes, we are definitely talking about sex!

As a queer man, I find it very peculiar that queer activism often focuses on the same string of subjects. Namely, such subjects are same sex marriage and queer rights within the military. In a contemporary context, popular queer activism clings onto these two issues so very tightly. Who here still remembers when Lt. Dan Choi was the Asian American poster man for the gay military rights movement? And perhaps more importantly, why did Lt. Dan fall out of the spotlight so quickly?

Now, don't get me wrong. I do appreciate the efforts invested in both political movements. Yes, it is important that queer people gain the right to marry. And it's definitely worth noting that the military isn't as heteronormative as it wants believe.

Yet, why is there a lack of focus on the sexual development of our own queer peers? Whenever I ask others about queer activism, the conversation inevitably leads to popular political movements. There's rarely any talk regarding sexual habits and the desires that drive us to have sex. When was the last time we talked about communication techniques and how to dirty talk? What about discussions regarding healthy hook ups and one night stands?

Frankly, there's a lack of sexual agency and literacy present in the queer community. I can't help but wonder why that is. After all, queerness is largely invested in our own bodies and how we interact with others in a sexual context. In other words, sexuality is called sexuality for a reason. Granted, sexuality does intersect with other ideas beyond sexual activity. However, at its very core, sexuality begins with our own sexual desires and passions.

Then why is that many queer people have trouble articulating how they like have to sex? And furthermore, why is it that hooking up and other sexual activities are viewed as "immoral" or "slutty"? If we're all so proud to be queer, then why aren't we talking about sex more often? After all, sex isn't a rare occurrence. I've witnessed my fair share of friends drunkenly walking off with strangers from the club and coming back the next morning wearing the same outfit (I myself included!).

Perhaps we should blame the media or social pressures that force us to think of sex as an activity meant for those in a relationship. The construction of sex as a monogamous activity does diametrically paint hooking up as a wrongful and whoreish act. Yet, I find it ironic that popular media heavily monopolizes on queerness as a selling point. After all, look at any major fashion spread or Bravo TV program--it's quite obvious that queerness is acceptable to a certain degree.

Back to sex positivity: what I'm suggesting here is a new way to think about sex. Sex is not only the physical, but the spiritual, mental, and political as well. In a spiritual sense, sex relieves us of our daily stress and allows us to express inner desire in a physical manner. Whether it's through masturbation, our sexual partner(s), or any other sexualized activity, sex is quite good for the soul. Speaking from personal experience, a good sexual romp can release a lot of pent up energy.

In regards to the mental aspect, healthy and empowering sex can help us mature. Sex allows us to explore our own bodies and learn how to interact with others. Remember the tried and true adage of "practice makes perfect"? The same applies to sex. Not everyone is a rockstar when it comes to sex (again, myself included), so ample practice may be necessary. Again, whether it's masturbation or with someone else, sex allows us to explore our bodies in an intimate fashion.

And finally, sex is political! The body itself is a political site. What you choose to do with your body is a statement of your own beliefs. When I use the word political, I don't necessarily mean Republican, Democrat, conservative, or progressive. Granted, sex may be very well an expression of such beliefs. However, the word political also speaks to our own conceptions of identity. Do you identify as gay? Are you a bear or into the BDSM community? How do you feel about water sports and sex clubs?

One doesn't necessarily have to answer such questions with words. What you do behind closed doors (or perhaps in public) speaks to your own desires and beliefs. And as such, the body becomes a politicized site for personal expression.

Now, where does this leave us? Maybe all this sex talk doesn't take us anywhere just yet. After all, we can talk about sex all we like, but talk is just talk. Sex positivity also means putting your ideas into actual practice. Whether that's this instant or a year from now, one thing is for sure: sex is much better with a healthier and more positive attitude.

So! Let's start today, shall we? Let's start talking about something that's happening all over the world at this very instant. Let's talk about sex!

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