Religion didn't dominate my upbringing. My parents are from different backgrounds; my father Parsi and my mother Sikh. At the age of ten I was reluctantly baptised a Parsi. I had no understanding of what the religion stands for and no real connection to the ritualistic practices or community. My mother was not religious so Sikhism didn't touch me till later when I was spending more time with my Naniji and Nanaji, my maternal grandparents. Mornings in their house began with the recitation of a passage from the Guru Granth Sahib, the Sikh text. I didn't understand what was being said but I do remember feeling still and calm and engaged.

I carried this with me as a teenager and more willingly attended kirtan with my grandparents. A community of people singing hymns, reciting prayers, learning and sharing. Langar, the community meal following kirtan always excited me because who isn't excited by homemade Indian deliciousness? I enthusiastically performed seva, or service. In this context it meant distributing plates or roti or dhal to the seated congregants. This might be where my commitment to community was born.

My grandmother was a remarkable woman who perhaps instilled in me a sense of social justice among other things. She shared many stories of being a young woman fighting for India's freedom from Britain, being displaced during partition and refusing to leave the newly independent India when her father was offered work in Canada. The family stayed. I remember distinctly having a conversation with her about how America was trying to patent basmati. We felt robbed.

I cherish these memories but specifically all the stillness we shared in prayer at the Gurudwara. We rarely talked about religion but some things really don't need to be said.

I don't feel like a religious person but I do feel spiritual and I am moved when I participate in Sikh ceremony. As an adult, and with the passing of my grandmother I have made more of an effort to learn about the history of Sikhism, what it stands for and my connection to the religion is reaffirmed; equality, justice, truth.

From what I know Sikh teachings do not say anything about queerness. It is the culture with at times upholds heteronormativity. In this article, Sonny Singh describes briefly the history and the values, and why Sikhism teaches Sikhs to stand up for queer and trans rights.

I never came out to my grandmother verbally, but I think she knew and she understood. She expressed her acceptance during a conversation about Deepa Mehta's Fire by describing the relationship between the two sisters-in-law as, "something that has always happened in our history."

Religion is a solitary and private experience for me so I don't venture to change the practice of Sikhism or influence what happens within Sikh organisations. But I continue to gain strength from my Sikh identity when I work in communities, when I advocate for social justice and as I walk the world as a racialised queer woman.